A Whole New World
It starts with a thought
Seeing no way out
Life is so complicated
What’s this world all about?
Thoughts become obsessions
No longer can I sleep or eat
Voices so real in my mind
Seeing death as victory . . . not defeat
My anxiety leads to depression & despair
With only one solution putting me at peace
My life would be much better off
If only I were deceased
I methodically prepare a plan
Without a time or a date
But now that the decision has been made
It’s as if it were always my fate
Although I will leave subtle signs
They will appear significant only when I am gone
Only a note left by my side
Leaving loved ones wondering where they went wrong
Yet I have not the forethought to consider
Those I have left behind
Their pain, their sorrow, their guilt
Grasping for rationale they will never find
Where did they go wrong?
How could they have loved me differently?
Change my innermost thoughts and feelings
Telling me how the end should be
But they had no influence or control
Of the outcome that long ago began
For the argument, fight or disagreement
Was only the ignition to activate the plan
To take me to a whole new world
Free from burdens where life is serene
With a Shepherd always by my side
Where loved ones would have been
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; You anoint my head with oil; my cup runs over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life; and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever. Psalm 23 (NKJV)
~Carol Holden May 22nd, 2008
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