This is a personal account dealing with: Addictions, trauma, Police related P.T.S.D., first responders, combat fatigue, abuse, abusive process, suicide, suicide attempts, drugs, alcohol, self harm, withdrawals, childhood sexual abuse, policing, murder, survivor, treatment, therapy, recovery, hope, redemption, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, self help, giving back, alcoholics anonymous, narcotics anonymous, 12 step programs, forgiveness, self forgiveness, self love, healing, spirituality.